I-da-ho

So yes her I am in cold, windy, rainy Idaho. So far my trip has really sucked ass. My mom and I had a few drinks and she made a comment about how I lie like my father. She meant it in a "funny way." Well, Being that my father abandoned us when i was 6 and called once in a while to tell me he was gay, had aids, had cancer, was dieing. Not of which was true. He is just a mental case that lied all the time. So me being completely wasted, freaked out, and proceeded to scream at my mom, step dad, and husband random things. Mostly my mom. I was so angry because she kept saying I needed to calm down and i was being silly. The more she told me to stop, the angrier I got. My mom continued to say things to me that were hurtful and I retaliated equally. It got to the point where I had my bags packed and I was walking in the rain to the airport.

So yea, I didn't leave. But i am really uncomfortable. I play it off like things are fine, but for reals. I am tired of having this hole in my heart because of my father. I am tired of feeling like my mom resents me for it. I am 29 years old and should be able to get over this :(

I haven't really kept track of what i have been eating. I the worst thing I had was Sonics on the first. It was a hamburger and a cherry limeaid. They don't have a sonics by my house, so it was my treat. Everything else has been on the healthy side. My mom does lo-carb stuff, so there isn't a lot to be pigging out on you know.

I watched Pushing Daisies tonight. It was pretty good. I really don't watch the TV, but i might give this show another shot.

Anyways, I am going to go. Hopefully my next post won't be gloom and despair.

I miss my dog :(