Thursday, May 8, 2008

More Good than Bad

i had a pretty good day today (which made up for how I felt yesterday). Woke up and fiddled around online for awhile. Derek ran to Vons and picked up some lunch and little snacks for me to bring to work. I would live on 100 calorie snacks if I could. They have cheeze-its and chocolate animal crackers. yum!

Watched a documentary on EVP's of orphaned children and took a shower. Played MarioKart WiFi for a little bit, then decided to get dinner. Derek and i shared a bowl of minestrone and a plate of spaghetti from Olive Garden. Yes Taylor, I know that it is your version of dog food, but I like it. Then I did some time on the gazelle while I watched the recent Celebricadabra. Hal yummy.

Were going to watch CSI and then off to bed.

The good day almost made up for the feeling the oddman out. Just weird things happening at work and with friends. I am/was feeling a little insecure and/or akward. Started questioning if people I thought were my friends are my friends. It's kind of like when i finally feel comfortable, someone pulled the rug and I doubt.

I also think that maybe i try too hard and it has put a bad taste in some peoples' mouthes. Maybe I annoy them? I think i want so bad to belong to something, that it's a slap in the face when I reality sets in. I don't know. Someday I will figure it out.


Michael in Stuttgart said...

Nessie - I love you. I think you are a fabulous person. Although I don't think that blond is your color :)

Wes said...

Nessa, you're such a sweetheart. I love you. I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to have you around. You make me laugh.

Malchera said...

We all get Paranoid. Your the best.

Were Mean Because Youre Stupid said...

Sister, I can totally identify with you. I go through bouts of insecurities about whether people I think are my friends are really my friends. But that's usually when my mind is in overdrive and I micro-analyze everything. My paranoia needs to go on vacation more than I do! LOL


Melanie said...

Well, HELL, pumpkin, WE love you. And since we're all that matters, your coworkers can suck it.

Candy said...

You know Nessa no one really figures it out. Life just happens. We do our best and that’s it. Believing in yourself is the biggest thing to learn. I believe in you. I know just by listening to your podcast that you’re a good person. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Hugs Nessa girl.