Thursday, September 11, 2008

Trying to write take two

You know, I wrote a whole post about how angry I was. Then I realized that what I had written was just out of anger and it wouldn't solve anything.

You know people, when you put your trust in someone and find out that they are saying horrible things about you, it really hurts. When someone is supposed to be your friend, but turns around and just lies...Well, I think my judgement in people maybe completely wrong. So maybe there are people i didn't think I liked, but I never took the time to really get to know them. Shame on me.

I have been thinking a lot today about where I fit. And somedays, I just don't feel like I belong anywhere and somedays I feel like I found my place. Its so bizarre how easily I can flip/flop from one to another.

I did receive a very sweet email today from a podcaster who I really admire and think is just so lovely. There are a few of those podcasters of which I admire because they are sweet people that just don't get involved with the crap that can happen in this community. i need to be that mature.

I am still very angry, but I feel a bit better now that I have written all this stuff down and the post that no one will see.

I recorded with Tim C and Eric for Meat Free Radio. Tim said something happened with the file so we will need to record it again. We were a bunch of giggling fools on that recording. It felt good to laugh. Eric, I hope your looking for my sugar daddy, so he can take me to NYC to have yummy vegetarian food with you.

My dear old dad's play is opening, I think Friday, Tim, Ron, Ryan, Kevin, and Jason are going to the SC's to see it and hang out with Dad and Larry Klye. I hope they all have a great time.

Speaking of podcasters, I sent an email to one that I trust a great deal and asked their opinion on me doing a show on my own. I knew the answer I got from them would be honest. I agreed with what they said for the most part. My confidence is shot, so I couldn't honestly judge for myself. I would like to keep podcasting because I really enjoy it. I don't really want to do one alone unless it was very short. I will just give it time. Think about what I really want to do. Any ideas out there?

For anyone who has things to say that don't feel comfortable commenting here, please feel free to email I have gotten quite of few facebook and myspace messages, but to be honest, I lag on checking those.

I think I am so tired I am babbling.


Malchera said...

Hugs, take care

Frank from Atlanta said...

Just a quick note to let ya know I'm watchin and thinking about ya, and to send you a big Hug... Be on the lookout for a long overdue email, as soon as I get off my lazy, poopy ass.


Bjorn said...

i am here for you cause i think you rock.

Lauren said...

Just hang in there. Don't do anything until you're ready. Try and live for today and the present, don't look back and try not to look too much forward either. Concentrate on how you feel now, and hopefully that will help you sort things out.

Anonymous said...

we love you miss misery.
Fuck walt and the fag hag.
How long do you think anyone would last with those folks

CaitlĂ­n Rosberg said...

I've been keeping an ear out for you on the interwebs, and I'm sad that you get stuck in such a rough spot. I understand how hard all of this can be, and I wanted to let you know I'm totally rooting for you. Hugs and cupcakes.

Tim Corrimal said...

Nessa Darlin. If you want to start your own podcast, I'm here to help you. I have been named America's Podcasting Sweetheart. And I"m here for you if you need me.

You could do a daily show like the BFO if you feel up for the challenge.

Jerry said...

Jerry misses you. :-(

Severina said...

Nessa - you should and I mean that you REALLY SHOULD do your own podcast!! You have a great voice, a great sense of humor and you can make just about anything funny. I was deeply saddened when I found out about everything and dammit I miss the C#@tNessa!!