01/25/10

This song explains how I am feeling today. The lyrics say a ton.

drink up, baby, stay up all night
the things you could do, you won't but you might
the potential you'll be, that you'll never see
the promises you'll only make

drink up with me now and forget all about the pressure of days
do what I say and I'll make you okay and drive them away
the images stuck in your head

people you've been before that you don't want around anymore
that push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

drink up, baby, look at the stars
I'll kiss you again between the bars where I'm seeing you
there with your hands in the air, waiting to finally be caught

drink up one more time and I'll make you mine
keep you apart deep in my heart separate from the rest
where I like you the best and keep the things you forgot

the people you've been before that you don't want around anymore
that push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still

A Semi-Purge

It has been quite awhile since I have had the want to update. What is weird is I feel like writing, but have nothing to say. I have found myself in a gloomy state of mind. Everything seems to hurt my feelings or have me questioning peoples' intentions. I guess I am having, as I like to call them, low self esteem days.

I just need to re-focus and keep my mind clear. i need to figure out what is important to me and work through it. Maybe my mom is right, maybe I do need therapy.

Not to rub it in to some, but I have been very blessed with my employment. We received our annual profit sharing check and it was so much more than expected. I had planned on shopping today, but I couldn't get the motivation to go. Plus I have the "buy it cause I can" syndrome. I need to plan out what I want to purchase before I run out and spend money I don't normally have.

Speaking of work, they moved Todd's desk to see if his numbers will improve. They said it had to do with all the talking that happens in our area, which I can understand, but it makes me sad because he's my pal, more than a pal, my work husband. I tell him things I don't tell a lot of people and now, it will be hard to carry on that friendship when he is on the other side. He said it won't change anything, I hope it doesn't. And I hope they don't put a douche nozzle in his spot!

Song of the Day 10/05/08

When Youre Gone, by the Cranberries



But I'll miss you when you're gone, that is what I do. Hey, baby!
And it's going to carry on, that is what I do. hey, baby...

Great Good and Bad

So first off, the great news. Derek and I found a condo that is the next cul-de-sac over. The owner called yesterday and said we wanted to meet with us on Saturday to sign the lease. So, by the way I see it, we'll be moving on Jan 15th. So that is a huge relief.

The good news. My pal April's mom is in town for Chrimbal and April's 30th birthday. April has been my pal for 20 plus years, so of course I love her mom. Some aspect of her mother's lifestyle make me uncomfortable, but I love her regardless.

The bad news. My mom has a cat named Scooter Pie. My mom got Scooter when I was 14. Scooter is staying over-night at the vets because they think her kidneys are failing. If thats the case, my mom will be putting her down. :(! So I have been a little sad. I cried a little bit. I hate that part of having pets. Seriously, I will need help when it comes to be Maggie's time :(. When Harvey got hit by a car last year, I seriously needed a day off of work because I couldn't stop crying. He was only 5. :( Now I'm all depressed. blarg indeed.