Song of the Day 09/30/08

How to Disappear Completely, by Radiohead

In a little while
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah it's gone
And I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here



Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

Song of the Day 09/28/08

Violet, by Hole (Back when courtney was pretty)

And the sky was all violet I want it again, but violent, more violent
and i'm the one with no soul
one above and one below

might last a day yeah
mine is forever
might last a day, yeah
mine is forever



well they get what they want, they never want it again
well they get what they want, they never want it again

go on, take everything take everything i want you to
go on, take everything take everything i dare you to

i told you from the start just how this would end
when i get what i want i never want it again

Song of the Day 09/27/08 and some ramblings

Maybe I'll Catch Fire, by the Alkaline Trio

this house is full of ears, but i can't talk to anyone. they've heard this one a thousand times. most exciting thing i do, hang half way out a third floor window, maybe throw lit cigarettes down. and maybe i'll catch fire. something warm to hold me, something pure to burn away the darkness that hides inside my mind. all that evil shit's not hard to find. i guess i only claim to be nice.



this house is full of eyes, but i can't look at anyone. they've seen this face a thousand times. most relaxing thing i do, hang half way out a third floor window, and look at rocks if i fall out. and maybe i'll fall hard. something tough to break me, something sharp to rip into my insides and bleed out all that pain. sorry i don't even know your name. i guess for me it's easy this way.

Today I did something I haven't done for months. I watched DVDs. I am notorious for having Netflix movies for months at a time before I watch them. I watched P.S. I love you. Can I tell you that I think I cried through the whole thing. It is a total chick flick, but I loved it. Then I watched Flight of the Conchords. I think it was six episodes on the disc. It was pretty funny. A lot to watch at once, but pretty good.

So right now the food network is on and they are talking about Paula Deen's resturant she opened in Harrah's Casino. Her employees wear a shirt that say "Get some south in your mouth." Is it bad that I want one? hahahaha! When I get old I want gray hair like Paula.

I am getting pretty excited about Christmas already. All my pals at work know I love a catalog. Todd and Beth's kids are doing the findraisers and I am a sucker for them. So I have wrapping paper and red plates with snowflakes on them coming :D! Every year for Christmas, I try to do a color theme and special drink and this year is going to be red and white. And the flavor is going to be peppermint. I will need to find a drink that isn't to overwhelming, maybe peppermint hot chocolate. Last year was pale blue and purples and the drink was a 357 Magnum (rum, vodka, ameretto, and 7-up). I have to talk to April who is my co-chef for this event. I promise I will try to keep my Christmas talk to a minimum until at least Thanksgiving.

It's not even Holloween yet!

So over the past week or so, a couple things have happened.

First thing is my supervisor has a new position and will no longer be my supervisor effective October 11. The person taking his spot is a night time supervisor whom I didn't have many good interactions with. Although I am happy for Fred's new position, I am kind of scared what is going to happen. I am looking at it as it could be so much worse. It could be my old boss who was a complete and utter piece of work...and by work I mean shit. I am also on job burn out. This happens from time to time. I get bored pretty easy and need something to spark my interest in it again. Maybe the new supervisor will do that.

Second is kind of some good news. Our landlord has agreed to extend our lease for at least another 18 months with no Rent change for now. Ultimately, Derek and I will be moving up to the Idahos to be near my mom. With all the crazy junk going on I have been in a state of worry. So I will be able to keep an eye on her and Derek will be in a city that is more like home to him. plus, buying a house for under 150K is appealing.

My sister has been in Idaho for a few months getting her life in some sort of order. She spent the last three years flushing it down the toilet. She wants to come back to San Diego, so she maybe spending a couple months with me since we have the extra bedroom. I never wanted anything for her other than to be happy. I hope she finds what she's looking for. I am happy she will be here for Christmas. That a big deal to me. This year's theme is red and white snowflakes. Yes i have already started planning. I want to make sure Christmas is a special time for Derek and I. We don't have any family in the area, so we spend this time with people we hold close. My pal April, her mom and dad, and this year we will have her boyfriend Doug joining us! And I love Christmas music soooo much. i know it's only September and I am already planning Christmas, I'm sick. But it really is the most wonderful time of the year for me.

Thanks for all the emails and comments on my songs of the day thing. I will continue to do it. It gives me something to look forward to. If anyone wants to email me directly, it's missxomisery@aol.com. You can even tell me your song of the day and I'll use it if I can't think of one.

Song of the Day 09/24/09

We Won't Get Fooled Again, by the Who

The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the foe, that' all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they all flown in the next war

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
No, no!



Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss

Song of the Day 09/23/2008

Good Things, by Sleater-Kinney

got this feeling when i heard your name the other day
couldn't say it, couldn't make it go away
it's a hard place, can't be friends, we can't be enemies
it's just too much, feel the weight crushing down on my face



the hardest part is things already said
getting better, worse, i can not tell
why do good things never wanna stay?
some things you lose, some things you give away

Song of the Day 09/22/08

Not David Bowie, by Tori Amos (the video was selected for sound quality, the live versions are hard to hear)

vultures in my garden
figures that I know them
and it is what it is
you were good once
now you're filled with bitterness
and it is what it is



I cannot forget
that he can't forget her
or that some friends just
change like the seasons
take me back to the fact
that you still blame me
but I am not the reason
you are Not David Bowie
Not David Bowie

Song of the Day 09/21/08

Get Off of My Cloud, by the Rolling Stones

There are no particular lyrics. I think I might have had a dream with this song in it because I woke up singing it. I don't remeber the dream. bwa bwa!

Song of the Day 09/19/08 and a small update

It's a Hit, by Rilo Kiley

Any chimp can play human for a day.
Use his opposable thumbs to iron his uniform
and run for office on election day
fancy himself a real decision maker
and deploy more troops than salt in a shaker.



But it's a jungle when war is made,
and you'll panic and throw your own shit at the enemy.
The camera pulls back to reveal your true identity.
Look, it's a sheep in wolf's clothing.
A smoking gun holding ape.


So the dentist...The hygienist asked me as I griped onto the sides of the chair so hard my hands were white...Do you want to try this without the gas?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I looked at her and she said oh, it looks like you're in trouble already. Derek warned me that she would try to get out of using it. I don't think so! Otherwise, the cleaning went pretty fast and i don't have to go back for 6 months. Derek is so mad because he has to go back every three. I told him if he flossed and stopped drinking so much coffee, it might be six. He refuses to floss. bleck!

Today was kind of a hard day. I had a mini breakdown when I got home, but I feel tons better after I had a good cry and talked about it with Derek. Now I am going to listen to music and relax with my dog who is hitting me with her paw for attention right now.

The dentist text messaged me!

So I was at work, trying not to pass out from lack of sleep and boredom, as I do, and I got a text message from my dentist reminding me I have an appointment tomorrow! Waaaaaaaaa! The receptionist called and assured me the gas would be waiting. I think she figure it would panic me a little. I don't know if i like getting random text messages from the dentist. It's like...GET OFF MY BACK, I FLOSS! but that could be just me.

My pal Andrea came in with her baby girl Madie (Madaline) and I held her. I normally shy away from holding babies. It hurts my heart, but in a good way if that makes any sense. I always imagined i would be a mommie and it's a little heartbreaking that I'm not. Derek and I talk about adopting all the time, but we need to get established somewhere first. Most likely in Idaho. Here's hoping.

Today, they had a representative from an organization that deals with Aids in the GLBT community come into our work for a presentation. I was so upset i didn't get to go because I remembered too late. It would have been educational. I was also very happy that my company did this. Normally they have presentations on Weight Watchers and Autism which is important, but thats not all there is in this world of ours. and Congratulations to Babaloo for meeting his fundraising goal for the Aids Walk he and Taffy did! That's awesome.

Now that i have some time on my hands, I think I may start reading again. Ricky has mentioned a book to me and Archerr is always mentioning one on his show. So, I may walk to the Barnes and Noble tomorrow and pick something up. I am a huge fan of the books Gregory Mcguire wrote (Wicked, Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister, ect) Anyone else familiar with those and know of ones that are similar?

Ok, off to make dinner.

Song of the Day 09/16/2008

Dark Center of the Universe, by Modest Mouse

I might disintegrate into the thin air if you'd like
I'm not the dark center of the universe like you thought
Well, it took a lot of work to be the ass that I am
And I'm real damn sure that anyone can, equally easily fuck you over



Well, God sayin' somethin', but he didn't mean it
Everyone's life ends, but no one ever completes it
Dry or wet ice, they both melt and you're equally cheated
Well, it took a lot of work to be the ass that I am
And I'm really damn sure that anyone can, equally easily fuck you over
I'm sure you'll tell me you got nothin' to say
But our voices shook hands the other day
If you can't see the thin air then what the hells in your way?

Song of the Day 09/15/08

Where Did You Sleep Last Night, by Nirvana

Unplugged in New York is possibly the most beautiful performance I have ever seen.

My girl, my girl, dont lie to me
Tell me, where did you sleep last night?
In the pines, in the pines
Where the sun dont ever shine
I will shiver the whole night through



My girl, my girl, where will ya go?
Im going where the cold wind blows
In the pines, the pines
The sun, the shine
Ill shiver the whole night through

It's funny because it's true

Trying to write take two

You know, I wrote a whole post about how angry I was. Then I realized that what I had written was just out of anger and it wouldn't solve anything.

You know people, when you put your trust in someone and find out that they are saying horrible things about you, it really hurts. When someone is supposed to be your friend, but turns around and just lies...Well, I think my judgement in people maybe completely wrong. So maybe there are people i didn't think I liked, but I never took the time to really get to know them. Shame on me.

I have been thinking a lot today about where I fit. And somedays, I just don't feel like I belong anywhere and somedays I feel like I found my place. Its so bizarre how easily I can flip/flop from one to another.

I did receive a very sweet email today from a podcaster who I really admire and think is just so lovely. There are a few of those podcasters of which I admire because they are sweet people that just don't get involved with the crap that can happen in this community. i need to be that mature.

I am still very angry, but I feel a bit better now that I have written all this stuff down and the post that no one will see.

I recorded with Tim C and Eric for Meat Free Radio. Tim said something happened with the file so we will need to record it again. We were a bunch of giggling fools on that recording. It felt good to laugh. Eric, I hope your looking for my sugar daddy, so he can take me to NYC to have yummy vegetarian food with you.

My dear old dad's play is opening, I think Friday, Tim, Ron, Ryan, Kevin, and Jason are going to the SC's to see it and hang out with Dad and Larry Klye. I hope they all have a great time.

Speaking of podcasters, I sent an email to one that I trust a great deal and asked their opinion on me doing a show on my own. I knew the answer I got from them would be honest. I agreed with what they said for the most part. My confidence is shot, so I couldn't honestly judge for myself. I would like to keep podcasting because I really enjoy it. I don't really want to do one alone unless it was very short. I will just give it time. Think about what I really want to do. Any ideas out there?

For anyone who has things to say that don't feel comfortable commenting here, please feel free to email me...missxomisery@aol.com. I have gotten quite of few facebook and myspace messages, but to be honest, I lag on checking those.

I think I am so tired I am babbling.

Song of the Day 09/11/08

Paper Thin Walls, by Modest Mouse

These walls are paper thin
And everyone hears every little sound
Everyone's a voyeur, their watching me
Watch them, watch me right now
They're shakin' hands, they're shakin' in their shoes
Oh Lord, don't shake me down
Everyone wants two of them
And half of everyone else who's around
Its been agreed, the whole world stinks
So no ones taking showers anymore
Laugh hard it's a long way to the bank
I can't be blamed for nothin' anymore
It's been a long time since you've been around
Laugh hard it's a long ways to the bank



Tow the line to tax the time, you know
That you don't owe
I can't be a fool for everyone that I don't know

Song of the Day 09/09/08

Big Wheel, by Tori Amos

I've been on my knees
But you're so hard
Hard to please
Did you take me take me in
So you are a superstar
Get off the cross we need the wood



Somehow you will rise
But without a tool
I know honey you're a pro
But BABY I don't need your cash

Mama got it all in hand now
Big Wheel turn my
Fantasy
Don't you throw that shade on me
I've been drinkin' down your pain
Gonna turn that whiskey into rain

Nessa's Song of the Day 09/08/08

A lot of the time I will be listening to the iPod and a song will come on that reminds me of someone, something, or a situation. So I figure I would start posting vidjoes of the song and the lyrics that struck me. So today is:

Death on Two Legs, Queen

Feel good are you satisfied?
Do you feel like suicide?
(i think you should)
Is your conscience all right
Does it plague you at night?
Do you feel good feel good?



Insane you should be put inside
You're a sewer rat decaying in a cesspool of pride
Should be made unemployed
Then make yourself null and void
Make me feel good i feel good

My Thoughts On the VMA's

You know, I must be getting old.

I remember when the VMA's (MTV Videos Music Awards) were a big to-do. Where there was an equal spread of Rock, R&B, and pop. Where is my rock MTV? And does Disney own MTV? The Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus were nominees?! You would have thought for a 25th anniversary, MTV would have a huge blow out. Who the hell was the host with his caterpillar eyebrows?! The only good thing he did was to tell people to vote for Obama! Was Arsenio Hall busy?! And all while Lil' Wayne was performing, I just wanted him to pull up his pants and stop grabbing the crotch of his pants. YES IT'S STILL THERE! Jeez! I mean really? Did his entire ass need to be hanging out the back of his britches!


This isn't from the VMA's...but guess which one is Lil Wayne?!

I did enjoy Rihanna, Pink, and Paramore. I would have liked to see entire performances by the Ting Tings and Katy Perry. Kanye West did nothing for me other than I liked the drums in the song. Also, I liked what they did with DJ AM and Travis. And Britney looked really good and I say good for her.

I don't know what happened MTV. When the biggest name you have performing is Kid Rock, I think it's time to reevaluate the show. I found it a touch boring. Bwa bwaaaaa!

For Bjorn

We talked about this song about a week ago and neither of us could find it. Well I finally did on the youtubes!



hurrah!

Things that were good/funny today

My pal Izola brought me her yummy mac and cheese, but also brought me a mix cd full of david cook and NKOTB!

Beth remembered to bring in the movie she was going to let me borrow 3 months ago.

My pal Keela came back from vacation!

Told Ricky to scrapbook about his mussy!

I received the sweetest email from one of the greatest people! He will never know how special his words were to me. For reals!

Received the following video via email from a pal who knew I was in a Dresden Dolls mood and I love Amanda so hard:



and this one too:



Was on Archerr's gang bang show and DQYDJ with Melanie, Patrick, and Stacey! (Missed you Jerry)

Found out my sister and I have something in common with Chip Coffey!

and no one was in the ER!

All I have to say to the above is Hurrah!