So I am so excited about this weekend. Derek and I are hoisting up to Disneyland for the Gay Days. On Friday Derek and I are having dinner with Wes, Christian, Brian, and Frank. We sent invites to a couple other folks and hopefully they will show. If not, it's ok. We will have a great time regardless.
April and Doug are graciously watching the house for us and taking care of Maggie. She really is a great friend. We are in the beginning stages of planning Chrimbal festivities. We already decided breakfast for dinner would be the food. We are decorating the house in green and gold and bells will be the pattern. Her mom is coming down from Idaho, which I am apprehensive about, but I am sure it will be ok.
Earlier this month I cut my hair. Prior to the hair cut, I always kept my hair up. Now that I am wearing it down, I can smell my conditioner. It reminded me of a guy that I used to adore. He liked to sit behind me at this picnic table in the courtyard of his apartments and write things on my back. I asked him why he did that once and he said he liked the way my hair smelled. That is one of the times in my life I felt content. That memory makes me happy.
In 1999, I was 21 years old and a shift leader at Burger King. I had a co-worker named Stacey who I just adored. All year we joked about how we would be getting married on 09/09/99. On that day she presented me with a rubber band to wear around my wrist and she had a matching one. We wore them until they fell off.
I got transferred and she quit. Saw her maybe two years later at a payless where she worked. We both dropped the shoe boxes we were carrying, squealed, and hugged for a long time. I introduced her to my mom as my wife. I didn't she her again until a year later when she announced she was pregnant. She looked scared out of her mind. I gave her my number and said if she needed anything, call me. I never heard from or saw her again.
Every time 09/09 passes, I remember Stacey and a lot of laughs we had and our rubber band marriage. I hope whatever she is doing now, she is happy.
For some reason, I have decided to not write in the blog. I have a million things going on in my head and I should be writing them down. I guess I felt the need to torture myself and Derek.
I have been so down the last month and so quick tempered. A combination of working long hours, not a whole lot of sleep, and not seeing Derek just turned me into a bag of mush. I am trying to change that and Derek is trying too. He is trying to work more days so I can see him more often.
Got a new computer cause the laptop decided it didn't like working anymore. I got a desktop with a 22 inch monitor. It's pretty. I forgot what a fast computer was like. Plus I can play Sims 3 on it cause I am nerdy like that.
Um, the work husband almost got fired because some ass went to HR and said he was selling drugs, which he wasn't. They let him keep his job because there was no proof. That was a relief, I mean shit, he's got kids.
I got a pressie from Walt which I am enjoying right now. I just rocked out to Milli Vanilli and Debbie Gibson. Love it!
Derek and I are going to Disney the 2,3, & 4th of October. I need to get in touch with Mr. Stone and see what he wants to do as far as a meet and greet. I was hoping Ricky was coming, but the new boy has all his attention, so I am guessing not. I hope my TWSS boys (yes they are mine) show up on Friday or Saturday. I would love to see them.
Oh, my new favorite band....
The Airborne Toxic Event - The whole album is GREAT!
So at work they are "encouraging" us to have people call for quotes. Because the economy is so horrible, people are looking to cut their costs, GEICO wants people to call to see if we can save them money. I am not a sales person and I feel weird asking anyone in particular to call. Well this lack of participation has gotten me a slap on the wrist, so now I need help. Can one of my readers, pretty please, call for me? You can call for auto, home, and renters. I think you can call for motorcycle, but I'm not sure. You do not have to buy anything for me to get credit!
Anywho, if one of my darling readers could call 1-800-841-3000 and give the the code 113038, I would be forever grateful. Thanks in advance!
Second...
Derek and I are hoisting up to Disneyland in October. We will drive up on the 2nd and are hoping to do a meet and greet on the 3rd. So if any of you will be able to got to Disneyland on October 3, leave a comment or email me at missxomisery at aol.com. The 4th we will still be there, but our pals April and Doug are coming up to spend some time with us, so we made Saturday listener day :)
Third...
So last July (08) I had made the decision to be a vegetarian. I did really well at first. During the holidays I hit a bump. Because food is an emotional thing, I felt like Christmas wasn't the same unless I had my usual type of meal. So I tried with the vegetarian way again. Did ok for awhile and hit another bump. Then I gave up. I got so tired of people making such a huge deal out of it and Derek wasn't to thrilled with the lack of meat in his diet. I did a little soul searching and decided that I can't give up. Not only do I feel like crap physically, I actually have been somewhat depressed when I started eating meat again. Now that i am armed with more knowledge on how I will be mentally when situations arise, I have a new look on it and plan on not hitting those bumps. I'm pretty excited this time around. My mom gave me a "make my own recipe" cook book. So maybe I'll have a cookbook someday. who knows. I am really trying to be optimistic.
i think that's all for now. I am hoping to get more into blogging. I lost my inspiration for awhile, but i'm feeling good about what's to come.
I know the majority of my blog readers listen to Stars & Tartans, so this story may be a repeat. Those of you who don't well it will be new to you.
Derek and I are trying to be a little less spendy these days because we would like to purchase our own home, adopt a baby or two, and grow old. The biggest obstacle isn't so much debt, it's putting the money away. So we, derek especially, tried to not spend as much and get some money put away. Derek asked me to go over the bank account balance with him and I see that both our checking and savings account had been wiped out. With all the NSF fees, our account was $2,ooo overdrawn.
Turns out, someone had hacked my email account, obtained my ebay password, and purchased a macbook and used my paypal account to pay for it. So for three weeks, we had to wait for paypal to complete their investigation so we could get our money back. And although the people that work for paypal were sympathetic and nice, no one seemed to really know what was going on and how long I had to wait. It was also frustrating that the seller of the computer was emailing me. Hey all you ebay sellers. If your buyer tells you that another ebay account is going to contact you and gives you an address that paypal does not provide to you, maybe you shouldn't go through with the transaction. I'm just saying.
So Michael Jackson. I loved Michael Jackson when I was a child into my teenage years. Around 1991 my musical tastes changed as grunge entered my life, but I still secretly enjoyed MJ. I have a lot of memories that have an MJ soundtrack. My sister and I used to sing man in the mirror with her boyfriend's kids during our living room performances. Listening to Bad as I played with my new hula hoop on Christmas morning. Singing The Way You Make Me Feel with Joe at work because it annoyed William. My sister singing Black or White and dancing like Michael. I also remember Robbie singing Black or White in the front yard. I learned to tell time because of Thriller.
Thriller scared me. I was five, maybe six when it started playing on MTV. My mom and dad thought that it would be good to have me watch the making of Thriller so I could see that it was pretend and I wouldn't be so scared. Back then, bedtime was 7pm. Just as they were to play thriller, I magically could tell time and said said it's my bed time, I can't watch anymore. I don't think I was brave enough to watch it until the 4th grade.
I watched the memorial on TV and cried the whole time. I feel like a piece of my childhood is gone. But I am very thankful for my memories. Regardless of what anyone's opinion is, MJ was a force in our history and was the best entertainer and will be missed. I hope his children will grow up to be great and people will let them be.
On the 7th, was Derek and my 6th anniversary. I have found that as time goes by, I like Derek more. Does that make sense? I never didn't like him, I am finding that no matter what a pain in my ass he can be, I like having him around and actually get a little sad when he's not. So i guess I will keep him around for another year. Maybe next year I will trade him in :P.
Other than that, I have been working on being more physically active. I went from only being able to walk for 15, 20 minutes to walking for an hour. I have been a little more aware of what i am eating. I'm very instant gratification and would give up if I had no results after a week. This time, I have been a little more patience and have seen results after a month. I am going to continue because I feel better.
Here is a Michael Jackson song I love, a Song of the Day if you will.
First, I want to say that I appreciate everyones' comments on my previous post. I know that it was a decision I needed to make on my own, and the general consensus just confirmed that I need to trust my instincts. I am ok with not speaking with her, I am sad that anyone would have to experience cancer, but I don't contact everyone who does. For her childrens' sake, I hope all goes well for her.
My sister-in-law has a baby on the 14th. I know have a niece named Heather. I haven't seen a picture yet, but i am sure she's a cutie. Pretty soon, she and her husband will be moving to North Carolina for work so I may make it to the east coast finally. i have a feeling Jen will come here as soon as possible, she loves the zoo.
So Father's Day. Always a sore subject with me, well until this year it has been a very sore subject. For those who have read my blog for a long period of time will know that I have issues with my father and have had a hard time dealing with not having answers. In the last few months, I have come to the realization that there is no point to beating myself up over things i can't change.
There are people in my life who have give me things that I could and never receive from my father. They have shown me patience, love, acceptance, and respect. So instead of being depressed that my biological father isn't in my life, I am going to be thankful that I have more than most people have.
Of course I am not a robot and I will always have a soft spot around this time of year, but the time i spend crying over it will be less and less.
First, I apologize for how disorganized this post might end up, I am in a weird place right now.
I found out that one of my friends from high school has breast cancer. I am in shock. Up until now, I hadn't known anyone who had breast cancer. This friend from high school and I haven't talked in six years and our friendship really just fizzled out and then ended when she stole my rent money. If she were to walk down the street, I wouldn't give her a second glance. And after our friendship ended, I found out that she lied to me about a lot of things. It made me sad because I really felt like she was my best friend, I mean we lived together for years.
But now I have come to a point where I am not sure where to go. If she didn't have breast cancer, I would have no reason to talk to her. I don't hate her, I just have nothing to say to her and there is no potential for her and I to be friends again. Because she has cancer am I supposed to talk to her? I am genuinely sad for her and her children. Is it wrong that I don't feel the need to contact her? I care if she's alright, but I would have that hope for anyone.
I feel conflicted because I feel sad about what she is having to go through, but I don't feel bad about not wanting to call her. i feel bad because I don't feel bad if that makes sense. And in a selfish way, I am afraid this makes me a bad person. I don't expect people out there to give me the answer, I have to come up with that on my own. I guess I needed to get some things off my mind.
