Thursday, June 12, 2008

Breakdown, party of one

Ok, so i usually am not a high strung person. I am pretty good about letting things go. If something annoys me, I say my piece and let it go. I am not angry at anyone, just kind of sad.

My sister left for Idaho yesterday. My sister is a pain in my ass. I mean, really. But I still have a feeling of responsibility for her and I worry constantly. This passed month, I have been so worried and stressed about her. Awhile ago she was let go from her job. She has slowly sold off all of her belongings and it got to where she had nothing left. My mom said the only way she would help her is if she moved. So my step-dad flew in yesterday and they started driving up this morning. I told my sister that I hope she can get herself into a better place. Sometimes the people we think are our friends are actually poison to our soul. I feel that some of my sister's friends were her poison. I feel a little relieved and also a little sad. Ultimately being up in Idaho is my goal, maybe in the next two years.

With the stress of my sister and concern over other aspects of my life, I haven't slept more than 5 hours a night. I finally exploded into a ball of tears at work. My poor supe thought I was being bitchy at first because I was being so disespectful, and finally he just asked why I was so angry. I just lost it. So he said I could take Wednesday off and I always have thursday off, so my days have consisted of sleep, mario kart, dinner with the step dad, and researching the veggie diet. (kudos to the meat free radio boys for their emails!) I feel ok now, I think my mom was right about me needing therapy. Bwa bwa.

In other news...Everyone has returned home from the Orlandos gaydays and I have enjoyed the pictures and videos :) I got a little misty when I watched PIMC's video because I so wanted to go. I am going next year. I need me some Taylor love ;) hahah! And who knew Rodan was so cute! And from I hear, everyone got along with everyone and that makes me so grateful to be part, even if it's a tiny one, of this community.

Speaking of podcasting. I will be meeting Ricky around the 4th of July, I may be able to meet Dad aka Big Fatty the following weekend with other special guests (I hope). Something may be happening with Wes and Mary around the 21st and Phreddy is later in the week. And my 5 year wedding anniversary is the 7th of July. I will have a busy month.

Who wants to win the lottery and be my sugar daddy or momma? And you botches need to cough up your MarioKart codes, hahaha I said botches.


Bluboy said...

Awe Nessa!!! I can't wait to spend time with you! I hope that your sister gets better! And Idaho??? No you need to move to Orlando...there is room in St Pete in Taylor's bed...

Malchera said...

Stay Strong Nessa. I am glad you had fun, looking at the Video

Sasha said...

OMG. It sounds like you really really needed a mental health day(s). Take care of yourself, Nessa.

Melanie said...

Soemtimes, you just need to say, "Fuck it, I'm staying HOME." Seems like your supe understood that, and good on him. Hope things ease up on you, pumpkin -- we love you, you know, and we don't want our Nessa to cry, otherwise we'll have to break out our foam swords and cut a bitch.