Wednesday, October 3, 2007


So yes her I am in cold, windy, rainy Idaho. So far my trip has really sucked ass. My mom and I had a few drinks and she made a comment about how I lie like my father. She meant it in a "funny way." Well, Being that my father abandoned us when i was 6 and called once in a while to tell me he was gay, had aids, had cancer, was dieing. Not of which was true. He is just a mental case that lied all the time. So me being completely wasted, freaked out, and proceeded to scream at my mom, step dad, and husband random things. Mostly my mom. I was so angry because she kept saying I needed to calm down and i was being silly. The more she told me to stop, the angrier I got. My mom continued to say things to me that were hurtful and I retaliated equally. It got to the point where I had my bags packed and I was walking in the rain to the airport.

So yea, I didn't leave. But i am really uncomfortable. I play it off like things are fine, but for reals. I am tired of having this hole in my heart because of my father. I am tired of feeling like my mom resents me for it. I am 29 years old and should be able to get over this :(

I haven't really kept track of what i have been eating. I the worst thing I had was Sonics on the first. It was a hamburger and a cherry limeaid. They don't have a sonics by my house, so it was my treat. Everything else has been on the healthy side. My mom does lo-carb stuff, so there isn't a lot to be pigging out on you know.

I watched Pushing Daisies tonight. It was pretty good. I really don't watch the TV, but i might give this show another shot.

Anyways, I am going to go. Hopefully my next post won't be gloom and despair.

I miss my dog :(


Malchera said...

We are never so vulnerable as when we are with our families.

I am sorry the weather cold, and things are awkard.

Walt said...

I hope your vacation is getting better. Makes you cherish how far away from home you actually live, doesn't it?

Fairy Princess Holly said...

Families are all crazy. I'm sorry for all the drama. Remember, friends are the family you chose for yourself!! Neither of my parents acknowledged my birthday, and that's fine with friends all did and they love me.

Seriously...I LOVE Pushing Daisies!