I woke up about 10 times last night throwing my guts up. So needless to say, I was a no-show at work. I came downstairs at 5am choked down a slimfast so I would have something in my stomach. I went back to sleep on the couch watching Saturday Night Fever. When I finally got up I read about 1700 vegetable recipies online. Need inspiration for dinners. I love love love cooking, but I like cooking rich, creamy, cheesey, and all in all bad for you dishes. So I need to re-train myself and experiment a bit. Plus, Derek's mom wasn't exactly into vegetables or fruit, so either is Derek. So it's a matter of hiding things from him so he eats them. I'm good at it :)
i feel 100% times better from this morning. I'm so glad, I really hate calling in.
i talked to Kevy last night for three hours. For those of you who don't know who Kevy is, i will give the short version of this story.
Kevin was a co worker of mine like seven years ago. Kevin and I share the same passion for music and hung out quite a bit. I had a huge crush on Kevin...huge, massive, gigantic. There was a time when I had just broken up with nigel and he had broken up with his girl and be were almost like re-bound buddies. Not in the physical sense, but we were there for one another. It came to a point where I thought things were going to progress to the next level. Kevin ended up getting back together with the ex and I was crushed. Shortly after, Derek and I started talking about being together and the rest is history.
Kevin and I have discussed our relationship on a few occassions. He said that he didn't know that I was that into him and he wishes that things could have been different. But that was then and we have both agreed that our friendship is what's important and we are working on that. It's one of those, what might have been moments I guess. Kevin is extremely important to me and always will be.
This is where it gets hard. I had a roommate named Marcia when Derek and I got married. Derek and Marcia had been drinking and Marcia said something to Derek that made him think that Kevin and I were more than friends and physical things happened, but I don't know what was said. Kevin and I never kissed mind you. So Derek hates Kevin and makes it difficult for us to hang out. I would never cheat on Derek nor would I just stay with him if I wanted to be with someone else. I don't think Derek believes me. So to keep the peace in my home, I would often avoid Kevin. I'm tired of doing it.
Kevin was also a friend of Bryce's. So I called Kevin yesterday and we talked about all kind of things. It was nice to have a conversation with someone who gets me. Derek loves me and I love him, but sometimes I think he just says what he thinks I want to hear and we don't have a great deal of things in common.
Kevin (whom i affectionately call Kevy) sent me a text message this morning that said:
"Thx for the talk yesterday, it was cool 2 talk like we did in the past. It's good 2 have u back around & i just wanted u to realize how much I appreciate your friendship."
It made me feel good.
Well I'm off to do dishes since I feel better, then prolly off to bed since I'm tired.
Food for today:
silm fast shake
macaroni and beef lean cuisine
55 oz of water (I'm working on another 40 oz now) hahaha 40 oz